So, I did the recording for kill author.

I didn't know it was possible to get such adrenaliney nerves about reading something in the privacy of your own room.

Take 1 was a cracklefest and I spent quite some time trying to pretend I was a logical, technical-minded being who knew how to fix it, when in reality I felt like that part in Zoolander where Owen Wilson is hitting the computer with a rock to try to get to the files inside. Turns out all I had to do was switch my laptop to battery power and the sound quality was perfect. Sometimes there is a technical solution so simple that even I can understand it. I just wish I didn't have to scythe through an overgrown wasteland of jargon to get there.


Take 2, I was more nervous than Take 1. I think my nerves were shredded beyond repair by all the techno-hoohah. But I read as well as I could. I tried to pause. I tried to breathe. And I tried to think of how the lovely Stephen Fry would do it (yes, I've been listening to the Harry Potter audiobooks again). And when it was done, I listened to it and although there were parts I would've liked to change, I didn't cringe and I didn't feel like those recurring dreams I get where everyone sees me peeing (true story). It was good enough. And in this case, perfectionism be damned; good enough really was good enough. So that was the take I submitted. 


So, it's done. Did I sink the duck? Or did I graze the dog? Stay tuned to find out.

Sneak peek...

... of the cover of Structo #6!

It's almost heeeeere! 

Must find more synonyms to express how super mega hyper excited I am.

> kill author

Good news, everyone!

My story DOGS THE SIZE OF COWS has been accepted for publication in Issue 13 of kill author, which will be going online in early to mid June. I'm very very pleased about this as I am a big fan of the journal.

There is an option to also attach a recording of myself reading the story, but I'm not sure yet whether I will take them up on this - firstly because I don't know if I possess the requisite technology, but more because the thought of it makes me all kinds of squirmy butterfly-nervous. Not as much as, say, reading at an open mic (still working up the courage for that one). Maybe the equivalent of seeing a bunch of cool kids doing really cool stuff (having a dance-off or throwing rocks at ducks) and wanting to join in but being all twisty-tummy scared because you know you'll do something dumb like try to do some elaborate handstand move and miss and crunch your nose into the floor, or miss a duck with your rock but hit a dog and knock it unconscious and everyone's standing around in total silence with their jaws hanging open and your smile is dying on your face and your arm is frozen midair and you want to shout BUT WHY IS IT OKAY TO HIT A DUCK AND NOT A DOG? WHO MAKES THESE RULES? but you're too busy staring hard at a cloud because if only you can do that and not blink, you won't cry. And you can feel your whole body shake from the impact of your window of coolness slamming for good.

Something like that, I guess. 

But who knows. Maybe this time I'll hit that duck. Just sink it right into that pond. Like the coolest kid in town.